This blog is about the beautiful gift that having our own business offers us if we are open to it
I invite you to reflect a bit on the employee mindset, the entrepreneur mindset, and how being in business really is such a liberating opportunity.
If you don’t have any previous experience with spiritual practice or meditation, or for other reasons, you might still be living in a framework where you think that what you imagine is going to happen in the future is going to happen. If this is you, you still get really disappointed when it doesn’t go your way.
Watch the video
Listen on the podcast
It could be for a lot of reasons that you’re still really believing that if you make a plan, that’s going to happen.
My nine year old just can’t handle it when we say that next week, we’re going to go and visit our cousins, that doesn’t happen. He’s so disappointed. So he’s still learning that plans are ephemeral.
I know for a long time in my business, I was still learning that lesson. Also in life, I was still learning that we have plans, we might have dreams of what might happen. Then there’s reality, which can be aligned with that and it can be different.
The thing is when you have a job, you think you have some certainty about what will happen in the future.
I know this because my partner is a teacher. At the end of the year, because he just has a year by year contract, it’s really intense for him. He’s got that oppression as a man that he thinks he has to bring in all the money for the household. It really weighs on him that when it comes to the end of the year, suddenly there’s this big uncertainty about whether or not he’s going to have a job next year or not.
When this happened a couple of years ago, I was a little bit shocked about why he was reacting so intensely, because I just always assume that he is tracking along with me on our lessons in life.
There are things that he’s way better at than me, like he is way more advanced for just general kindness. But then there are other lessons that I can see:
“I’m tracking ahead of you on this.”
I can forget.
We do that with each other, I just assume:
“Oh, I’ve learned that, so of course he knows that.”
So I was looking at him freak out about not having a job, or being in this uncertainty about his job next year.
And then I realized:
“Ah, having a business has really given me an increased capacity to endure the uncertainty of cash flow, the uncertainty of where will the next client come from.”
Where will the next bit of money come from?
You know what I’m talking about, right?
It’s very uncertain being in business, there’s no boss, there’s no mummy or daddy or teacher who’s going to look after us and usher us to the next period at school, or tell us what our next expected task is.
There’s no one to answer to.
It’s all on us.
It’s very uncertain.
I think that is actually a great blessing.
I said to my partner at that time, and what I know in myself is that:
Life is actually always that uncertain.
That’s very uncomfortable.
As humans all are planning and dreaming and strategizing, and creating structures. From my perspective, that is all just an attempt to overcome that uncomfortable feeling inside us that we actually really don’t know.
We really don’t know what’s going to happen next. And that scares the shit out of us.
That’s perfectly natural. That’s perfectly normal.
It also feels really good to conjure up a fantasy about the future that suits all our desires and cravings; this beautiful future where it’s all going to go our way. It’s going to feel so great. We’re going to get everything we want.
Of course that feels a lot more pleasant than the discomfort of sitting in the present moment. And being aware that we don’t really know
what’s going to happen next.
We don’t know what’s going to happen next week.
That is the truth of reality even if you have a one year contract for your job, even if you have got clients booked next week or you have planned a launch of a course.
Yeah, that might happen. But yeah, you might wake up tomorrow and the aliens have decided to land.
I mean, that’s extreme, but you know, someone in your family gets horribly sick, there’s some kind of accident, really unforeseen. There is some kind of financial crisis that’s beyond your control. There are a lot of external factors that come at us, just as general householders and as a business owner, even more so.
As business owners we’re given this beautiful opportunity to increase our capacity to endure that uncertainty, we don’t know how many people will buy our next offer, we don’t know who our next high ticket clients are going to be. We don’t know how many spots we’re going to sell on our group program. It is completely uncertain.
This is just a supreme reality of life and a natural human nature reaction to it.
Being an entrepreneur gives us this beautiful opportunity to increase our capacity to endure that. Hopefully you have a meditation practice or something like that. That’s also helping you get more comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty. I think it’s a gift. I think it’s a blessing. I can see, when I talk to other people, I can see that my capacity for uncertainty is very high.
It might just be my age. I’m 46.
Now maybe I’ve just grown out of the fantasy that all my plans are going to come true. Definitely I still buy into it, but everything I do reinforces this lesson for me.
For example, I ran a summit last year and I had this right up in my face with goal setting. For the summit, I had certain goals, I had a goal that I would grow my email list by 1200 and send sell 120 VIP passes.
I’m not saying don’t plan. Yes, have a contract for work for the next year. Yes, have a job. Yes, have a launch plan, yes, set goals for the amount of sales that you have.
At the same time be very aware that the outcomes are uncertain.
That’s just a direction that you’re pointing yourself so that you’re taking the right actions and moving in a direction that you want to move in. But the outcome is uncertain.
What there is some degree of certainty over is the way you show up in that structure. The way you show up, like with patience, compassion to yourself, kindness to others, without scarcity like an energy vampire. Just that you are in yourself and you are okay.
You have control of how you show up.
That’s the place to work.
If you are really struggling with uncertainty you get to reflect on: who am I in this moment?
Am I bullying other people to try to get what I want?
Am I using marketing tactics that aren’t actually aligned with my values, because I just want it so much.
That’s real craving, right? That’s real desire and forceful energy.
There are times when I didn’t sell as many spots on a course as I had hoped.
I have a goal for my hourly rate.
There were times where I was selling a course and I didn’t hit my target. But I have a target that I’m working towards and everything I do in my business is moving me in that direction.
I hope this is helpful.
I hope that anything I’ve said gives you some sense of relief.
Maybe you feel really unresolved.
Maybe I’ve just stirred it up in you but I think it’s an opportunity for you.
I’m sending you lots of compassionate love. I do understand how uncomfortable it is. I just know if it’s really uncomfortable right now that you are probably growing, growing, growing. It is really uncomfortable and there are really good moments as well.
You know when it’s like when you haven’t planned something and you go somewhere and something spontaneous happens.
That’s the beautiful side of uncertainty: some beautiful growth will come, beautiful connections and relationships.
I hope you have a really beautiful day, sending you lots of love and I’ll see you really soon. Bye